Oh My! My Baby Is An Adult! |
When my oldest moved out and went to college, I felt like my heart was ripped out. I cried for days, hours at a time (just ask my husband). I cried so long and so hard that my eyes became just one huge puff ball. I finally got over it and thought to myself, “I can handle anything now”. I was soon proved wrong with the announcement of her engagement. She hadn’t just left the nest Soon after the announcement, my youngest daughter, I have just the two, graduated from High School with honors and was accepted to Ball State University. My world was crashing again. Although I was extremely proud of my daughter, with her passage to Ball State meant my “nest Letting go – Are there two more painful words in the boomer-parent generation? One minute there’s this adorable, helpless bundle in your arms, and then 18 years go by in a flash. Years filled with MOP’s |
We as boomers know we should not hover over our children. We also know that if we do that they will never get a chance to actually grow up. We know and understand that this process is a gradual process that began the moment our baby took his/her first independent steps. Some of us even though we know this, hang on, propelled by love of course and perhaps a bit of insecurity. How will the world treat my baby? Some of us have not batted an eye at editing the college paper for our baby. I admit that I have even bought a text book and followed along in the syllabi. Because we as baby boomer parents do have such a hard time letting go, many colleges around the country have set up parent-liaison offices to limit angry phone calls to professors and deans. Parent orientation, usually held at the same time as student orientation, focus on teaching parents how to step aside. As baby boomers we made child rearing one of our focus for so many years that to stop doing this or stop having a center focus is like pulling the yin out of the yang or apple pie with the ice cream! |
We, the Boomers, born between the years of 1946 -1964 are the wealthiest and best educated generation of parents in human history. We have faced a pretty steady economy with unemployment staying generally low, and our income grew as we became two-career families. We kept our family size small, thanks to the availability of birth control and focused our attention and energy on those one or two children and want them to do well. We have seen an explosion of child-development research So where is the line between being helpful and hovering? Many parents worry that their children will never get jobs and end up back at home after graduation with debt from student loans, making it difficult to find affordable housing even if they do find work. According to the 2000 Census |
Unlike when they were younger when we picked the little league team, we pushed for soccer or ballet lessons, we picked the preschool or private school, we must let our children make their choices now about college and career. As much as it pains us, we must let go and encourage our child’s independence. They may not make the same choices we want them to make, and they may make mistakes. They will learn and they will grow |
, she was ready to start building her own